OK, not really. Not yet. But if they ever do, the e-learning system support team will be ready. Because they’ve got a zombie attack preparedness plan.
I saw a story about this on CBS News and mentioned it in a post about last week’s proliferation of zombie stories at the Good Girls Bad Juju blog. Sean Cummings, one of my fellow bloggers on that site, rolled up his sleeves and found the actual document on the University of Florida Web site. (Thanks, Sean!)
The plan is hilarious, with deadpan humor that perfectly captures corporate speak of the academic variety. Zombies, or “apparently life impaired individuals” suffer from “zombie behavior spectrum disorder (ZBSD).” A ZBSD outbreak may cause complications such as these (all quoted from the report):
- “In general, zombified users will be inarticulate and unable to clearly describe technology problems and use cases.”
- “Some support staff may be infected and unable to effectively and efficiently carry out their support responsibilities.”
- “The spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may complicate policy making.”
The best part is probably the Infected Co-Worker Dispatch Form, to be filled out by employees who’ve killed a zombified coworker. But the whole plan is worth a read. Be prepared to protect your keyboard from coffee-spewing.